it's just me (that is, m.e.) | a.k.a. elke

theamericanprospect:

Think Progress made some redneck jokes in honor of Jeff Foxworthy’s endorsement of Mitt Romney. They’re pretty beautiful: 

• If your wife drives “a couple of Cadillacs,” you might not be a redneck.
• If you think $374,000 in speaking fees is “not very much” money, you might not be a redneck.
• If your tax return is 203 pages long, you might not be a redneck.
• If you think it’s a problem that billionaires aren’t allowed to give you all the money they want, you might not be a redneck.
• If your earliest memories include looking down upon the people of New York from a helipadwith you CEO father, you might not be a redneck.
• If you think “cheesy grits” from a Hilton hotel is down home southern cooking, you might not be a redneck.
• If you only hunt “small varmints, if you will,” you might not be a redneck.
• If you help your son set up a business by fronting him $10 million, you might not be a redneck.
• If the business is named after the place where your “ski mansion” is located, you might not be a redneck.
• If you’re not a NASCAR fan, but you’ve got “some great friends that are NASCAR team owners,” you might not be a redneck.
• If you’ve ever made a ten thousand dollar bet, you might not be a redneck.
• If you earn more money in a day than most people earn in a year, you might not be a redneck.
• If you’re 65 years old and are just now learning to say “y’all,” you might not be a redneck.
• If you invest in Dollar stores instead of shopping at them, you might not be a redneck.
• If you think “corporations are people, my friend,” you might not be a redneck.
• If you think the richest 0.1 percent of Americans need another $264,000 tax cut, you might not be a redneck.
• If you think seniors can get by just fine without the promise of Medicare, you might not be a redneck.
• And, finally, if you’ve ever posed with your co-workers for this kind of picture,
  
  it’s a pretty good bet that you’re not a redneck.